10 10 10 Rule

Rea,

Have you ever found yourself stuck on a decision? Or maybe you’ve been overwhelmed by emotion and worried you might be making an impulsive choice? It’s a common experience, and sometimes no matter how much we think about it, we end up confused about how to move forward. I want to share with you a helpful framework I learned about that can help.

But first, let’s talk about what a framework is. A framework is like a structured way to think about something. Remember when you learned subtraction and were taught how to borrow a number and keep track of what the number currently is? That’s a kind of framework for doing math. Similarly, decision-making frameworks can help us think through our options and evaluate them more clearly.

There are many frameworks for making decisions, but today I want to tell you about one called the 10-10-10 rule. When you’re stuck on a decision, this rule suggests using the perspective of time to help you figure out how to think about it. The question to ask yourself is: How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years?

Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re invited to a sleepover at a friend’s house, but it’s on the same night as your piano recital. You really want to go to the sleepover, but you also know the recital is important. Let’s apply the 10-10-10 rule:

• In 10 minutes: You might feel excited about going to the sleepover and relieved to avoid the stress of the recital.
• In 10 months: You might regret missing the recital, especially if you’ve been practicing hard. The sleepover might be a distant memory.
• In 10 years: You probably won’t remember the sleepover, but you might appreciate the skills and confidence you gained from participating in recitals.

This framework helps you see beyond the immediate emotions and consider the longer-term impacts of your choices.

I’m curious, Rea. Can you think of a decision you’ve struggled with recently? How do you think applying the 10-10-10 rule might have helped you think it through?

Remember, frameworks like this aren’t meant to make the decision for you, but to help you think more clearly about your choices. Your feelings and instincts are still important parts of decision-making.

Love, Abba